It's a strange time to discuss New Year's resolutions based on how far into the year we are, but they provide a baseline for discussing expectations. Resolutions with deadlines invoke unnecessary pressure. The more specific the resolution, the higher the pressure. It may be pressure we didn't intend to place on ourselves, but it is still pressure. Setting strict goals can lead to a sense of failure and leave our progress uncelebrated. Promising yourself that you're going to do a big thing that doesn't adhere to time within a specific time is a promise that is born half-broken. Saying that in 2024, I am going to gain a hundred thousand followers and walk five thousand miles is setting yourself up for disappointment. We are the negotiators of the impossible, but some impossible is just too stubborn for our altering.
That isn't being said to instill doubt in you, but those are high expectations. In terms of followers on a social media platform, you cannot guarantee a specific increase. Reworking your goal to be that you will grow your following is more achievable. How we set goals is essential to completing them. Moving the goalpost and adding milestones is fine, but beginning at too high of a point tends to mean we quit before we get halfway. Take, for example, somebody who wants to get back into reading. Setting 100 books in a year might seem ambitious, but 10 is more achievable. Once the 10 has been achieved, you can then push onto 20 and so forth. Starting at gaining ten followers and then fifty and then one hundred is allowing yourself to succeed and feel some form of gratification. We must put on a parade for all our successes, even the little ones. Many try to leap over the beginning, but we must begin small. The tree was once seed & houses are made from multiple bricks to form a singular structure. The goals we set are bricks, and it takes time to construct a house and longer to convert it into a home. I see an influx in the desire for instant gratification. The demand for immediate satisfaction instead of slow and steady growth. Realism is a third important factor, and the more time we contribute to our crafts, the better we get. Whatever you do, you will only get better the more you do it. To set a goal stating that you will improve in a specific area is realistic as long as you dedicate time to said area. If you want to improve your writing, you must simply write more. I have met poets who are angry over the lack of publication but have only written a handful of poems in their lifetime, and they are only months into their journey. Things take time and work.
I am only confident in my writing because of the time I have put into it. I have written terrible things, taken stuff onto the stage and got zero reactions, and even now, some poems land differently than I expected, so I have to take them away and work on them. Expecting yourself to be good at something immediately is unrealistic, but you can achieve anything you put the hours into. Some poems take hours, some take days, and some ruminate for months. I have more unfinished writing than I have completed, and that's okay because I understand my process and will complete it in time. Setting goals for yourself is essential to growth, but how you set them can make them valuable or damaging. The rule of thumb is that if it feels like a chore, then it likely isn't your calling. I write poetry, and there are times when it drives me to madness, but it is a madness I have come to crave. Writing has always been special to me, so I put in a lot of work and made it something I could build a career out of. With the rise of KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) and the increase of places to submit your work, there seems to be less concern being put into the actual creation and more of a rush towards the reward. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everybody but things do seem to be heading in the quickfire direction. Sometimes I write half a poem and I am so eager to get it out that I have to fight the temptation to end it quickly. I remind myself that the back half of the poem deserves to be as good as the front. My mind is a constant rush-hour traffic of thoughts and to not buckle to the false urgency of my thinking is something that took a long time to learn.
If you are trying to make changes in your life then make them realistic. Be gentle with yourself by allowing yourself to be triumphant. If you feel lost then know you will be found and you will figure it out but typically, hurrying doesn’t make things change faster. If you want a new job then don’t tell yourself you will get a new job by September, say you will redo your resume and apply for a job. If you get to the interview but they don’t hire you, remember the interview is an accomplishment. I know what it is to feel like you want to become so much more than you are and the most important skill to hone is patience. Wherever you envision yourself, you will get there but quit setting such harsh deadlines and scheduling your own disappointment. It might take longer than you expect but it could also happen sooner. Just keep working at whatever it is that you’re working on and keep believing you can go anywhere and become anything because you can. There will be obstacles and there will be setbacks but I have had some great conversations waiting for the tow truck and I learned that you probably shouldn’t speed into the pothole. Whatever you want, it is yours! Keep working and keep celebrating every lilypad you land on while making it across the pond. Sound off in the comments, I will see you down there.
I am unsure if you enjoy listening to soundtracks especially if they’re horror but if you do or if you aren’t sure, you should try this one out. The titles don’t give spoilers to the movie so you’re safe.