Last week was mental health day, so we aren’t going to do the usual newsletter; instead, I just want to share some things I’ve learned about depression that have helped me and extend them across. Mental health is an endless spectrum and the things that help one might not help another, but you might find something within this that guides you towards help.
Eating
When you're depressed, eating can feel like an impossible obstacle, but it’s important to feed yourself. When I'm depressed, I often crave unhealthy comfort foods like fries and fried chicken. To counteract this, I started experimenting in the kitchen to create healthier versions that still satisfy those cravings. Now, I make crispy chicken in the air fryer with a sweet and sour sauce that hides some veggies such as onions, pineapple, and peppers. Another go-to for me is cold pasta with sweetcorn. It's simple, refreshing, and easy to make in bulk, so you don’t have to worry about cooking if depression makes it too difficult. Prepare meals that are quick, comforting, and require minimal effort that are also nutritious, but not in an obvious way.
Talking
I understand the stigma around mental health is still present like a demon immune to priests, and I know it can feel strangely hard to open up to the people you love when you’re struggling, but sharing the weight, even just a tiny bit, can make an enormous difference. There are people who care about you, who want to be there for you, even if it feels like you're burdening them or like no one understands what you're going through. It’s easy to feel alone when you're depressed. Loneliness is Depression’s roommate, and believe me, people are more willing to listen and support you than you think. Depression requires leaps, and unfortunately, most of them are scary.
Exercise
I understand you don’t feel like it, but exercise helps the mind as much as the body, if not more. I am not suggesting you sign up for a marathon or undergo a major contest, but going for a slightly inclined walk and being outside can do wondrous things. If you have an exercise routine, try your best to stick to it even if it requires an easing. If you lift weights, lift less weight. If you enjoy running, jog. You don’t have to go to crazy extents; you just need to get yourself in motion.
Do Stuff
This is not specific, but I know the weight of the wallowing and how much you might want to hide away, but doing something that requires you to be present helps. Even if you can’t garden, plant a seed. Draw something, write or learn to sew. Take up something that requires the attention of your mind so depression doesn’t have all of it. Find something that you can focus on that has a physical element to it. It's something a little more than watching a movie. When depression has a firm grab, distraction can loosen the grip.
Cry
Just cry. We’re still haunted by that ‘tough it out’ mentality, but feeling sad is okay. It’s okay to cry. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a natural release. In fact, science shows that crying can actually reduce pain, thanks to the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which are the chemicals that make us feel better. Let yourself cry however, you need to. Cry loud, cry messy until it feels like the weight is lifting. It’s your body’s way of processing, of letting go. Don’t hold it in. You deserve that release.
Remember
You need to remember which part of you is talking at all times. Are you making this decision because of your mental health or because you want to make that decision? You shouldn’t make major choices or changes when in a depressive state. Remember how you got through it before, how you were convinced you wouldn’t, that you overcame a big obstacle, and how you will again.
Coping Mechanisms
This one relates more to autism but can apply to any mental health issue. Wherever you are going, make sure you prepare. I always ensure I have two things: an escape plan and tools to help me deal with my surroundings. Technically, two are multiple things, but we will compile them into one for the sake of the point. What I mean by tools is things that can make a situation more manageable. For example, at times, I wear sunglasses in bright rooms, or at times, I wear my AirPods without music playing to take off the edge. It is very often the edge that needs removing to help me cope. If you can, go to the bathroom and take a break or move to a more open, quieter part of the room. I understand that sometimes, leaving and reentering a space can be more overwhelming than staying in it, so analyze your capabilities and be honest with yourself. Your need to leave doesn’t reflect anything negative onto you.
Limits
As humans, we tend to extend ourselves beyond our reach. We go further than we know we should. We work overtime, stay up late, and sacrifice our health for smaller means. If you deal with mental health issues, then there is an even bigger urgency to ensure you aren’t overextending. Draw a line and be strict with yourself when crossing it.
Sleep
Too much or too little sleep can have adverse effects. Building a schedule and allowing yourself time to wind down and wake up is important. Wind down could be reading or anything away from screens. Relax before bed, and when you wake up, give yourself time. You shouldn’t be trusted into the day; it should be a steady entrance.
Schedule
The last thing I will highlight is the importance of having a schedule. This is especially crucial for managing ADHD and autism, but it can also be helpful for depression. A structured routine helps you stay grounded by providing a clear sense of where you need to be and when. It’s easy to lose track when feeling down, but being gentle with yourself is important. Just like with exercise, it's okay if things don’t always go according to plan. Small deviations are normal. The key is to stay consistent, even in small steps.
I really hope you found this useful. I would love it if you would add any tips you have below, I can pin this, and it can find people who need it. Thank you all so much for being here. I will be back to regular programming soon.
Your friendly neighbourhood poet, Ash Raymond James. x